Me: Good morning.
Body: Good morning! You're up early. And - oh, water. Thanks.
Me: *glug-glug-glug*
Body: That was good. What's the agen- wait, what are you doing?
Me: It's called running.
Body: I'm moving.
Me: I know.
Body: I don't do running.
Me: You do this morning.
Body: I'm supposed to read! At a desk! I - what's going on? AAH! Respiratory system! Respiratory system!
Me: It's called homeostasis. Get over it.
Body: But what's this stuff that's coming into my lungs?
Me: Oxygen. Remember oxygen? It's much less efficient to be anaerobic. Ever heard of something called ATP?
Body: I can look it up on Wikipedia.
Me: You do that.

Body: Done reading. You're still doing this "running" thing. I'm going to make your legs hurt.
Me: Yeah, I know.
Body: They're not used to this. You're going to have to stop.
Me: Eventually.
Body: Lactic acid! C'mon, my little H+ friends!
Me: Eh, mild discomfort. Lactic acid actually doesn't cause muscle soreness, you know. That's a common misconcep-
Me: Oh, come off it. I'm not going to overdo it. I'm just running at a bit of a clip for 20 minutes, with occasional walk breaks. I'm out of shape - spent the last month far too immobile. Remember how you sprinted 3km through the streets of Taiwan to get your suitcase without getting out of breath?
Body: Yes? Almost? Distant memory?
Me: Could you do it now?
Body: No?
Me: Exactly.
Body: Why do you care?
Me: Because taking care of yourself is good. And not-moving has correlated with me feeling really scattered and sluggish for the last 5 weeks. And because I want to learn tai chi, and that's a lot easier when you can, y'know, do more than 50 squats in a row.
Body: So you're going to do this again?
Me: That's the idea. Right, so we're done. Shower, lunch, some reading, and then let's do some crunches!
Body: ...
Me: Let's go!
Body: *grumble* I know I'll be happy about this in a month, but I really don't like you right now.
Me: Aww, I love you too.